Tea vs Mai
by theiratepupil
Summary: A parody of the match between Mai and Tea to win back Yugi's star chips


Tea vs. Mai: The sequel to the very freakish episode where Yugi duels Kaiba in their second match (Read "Yugi vs. Kaiba" part one and two before reading this)  
  
  
  
Yugi (with tears in his eyes): I can't believe I just let Kaiba fall like that.  
  
Tea: It's okay, Yugi. He survived. I know it.  
  
Yugi: Why?! Even his determination to save Mokuba still isn't enough to save him from a fall like that!!  
  
Tea: No, I meant that he's an anime character.  
  
Yugi: Oh, and that's supposed to save him from a 100-foot drop?!  
  
Tea: Yeah.  
  
Yugi (with a stern look in his eyes): You're heartless.  
  
Mai: Well, look who it is.  
  
Joey (sarcastically): Great, just the person I wanted to see.  
  
Mai: I know you really meant that, so I'll take that as a compliment.  
  
Joey (hushed): Mai.don't say that in front of them!  
  
Tristan: What do you want, Mai?  
  
Mai: Glad to see you, too. Actually, I wanted to return the star chips I owe to Yugi.  
  
Bakura: But then you'll have only two.  
  
(Mai shows eight star chips outside her dueling glove)  
  
Mai: I'm generous, not stupid.  
  
Others: Well, actually.  
  
Mai: WILL YOU JUST TAKE THESE STAR CHIPS BEFORE I HAVE TO SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR THROAT??!!!  
  
Joey (to himself): I'd like to shove something down your throat.  
  
Mai: YOU ARE SO UNGRATEFUL!!! JUST TAKE THEM!  
  
Yugi: I won't...I can't...  
  
Mai: What's eating him?  
  
Tea: His so called "millennium spirit" let him lead Seto Kaiba to his "doom,"  
  
Mai: How so? We're all anime characters.  
  
Yugi: CAN'T YOU SEE I'M GOING ON A GUILT TRIP HERE?! DON'T GO AND RUIN IT FOR ME!!  
  
Mai: Fine. If you want to go and feel sorry for yourself, by all means, go ahead.  
  
Yugi: Thanks.  
  
Mai: I was being sarcastic! Are you going to take them or duel me for them?  
  
Yugi: I can't. I'm too afraid.  
  
Mai: If you're too afraid to duel a girl, maybe you should give up dueling altogether.  
  
Yugi: Why the heck do you think I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself in the first place?!  
  
Tea: I'll duel you!  
  
Mai: You gotta be kidding.  
  
Joey: No, Tea! Let me duel her. I'm much better than you.  
  
Tea: But I love him.  
  
(long pause)  
  
Joey: Heh heh heh heh. Well in that case, I'd be glad to watch you make a fool of yourself in front of Yugi. (makes kissing noises)  
  
Tea: Grrrrrrrrr...  
  
(Tea slaps Joey)  
  
Tea: I'LL SHOW YOU THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP IN A DUEL!!  
  
(stomps away angrily)  
  
Joey (dazed): Owww. Great. She's mad and she just gave me the corny friendship speech.  
  
Mai: So, we're dueling for Yugi's eight star chips. I'll go ahead and let you go first.  
  
Tea: I don't need your charity! (looks at her hand) Uh, but I'll take it. Thanks.  
  
Mai: This oughta be interesting.  
  
Tea: I summon the Petit Angel!!  
  
(Mai is humming to herself and filing her nails)  
  
Mai: That weak monster? I'll pick a random card and use it.  
  
(Throws down Dark Hole)  
  
Tea: Yikes! Well, I have a Monster Reborn!! I use it to revive my Petit Angel!!  
  
Mai: Lemme guess, You're gonna attack.  
  
Tea: Yeah. Attack, Petit Angel!!  
  
Mai: I'll use my Mirror Force Trap Card I laid down. (snores) Wake me up when you get good.  
  
Tea: I'll show you!  
  
Joey: You better go ahead and sleep, Mai. That could take a while.  
  
Tea: Joey!  
  
Joey: Sorry.  
  
Mai: My turn. I'll use Harpie Lady. (yawns). And I'll attack.  
  
Tea: Ahh! My Life points are already more than half way gone! (draws a card) I summon my second Petit Angel.  
  
Tristan: Is she nuts?  
  
Bakura: It's gonna get destroyed for sure.  
  
Mai: Alright. (yawns) I use Cyber Shield to raise my Harpie's attack by 400...(yawn) or something like that. Attack.  
  
Tea: Ahhh! My angel! How about this? Kuriboh!! In attack mode!  
  
Bakura: She's gotta be kidding! She doesn't have the multiply card!  
  
Tea: And with it, I use...oops. Hey Yugi, can I borrow your Multiply card?  
  
Yugi: Don't bother me while I'm feeling guilty for a stupid reason!!  
  
Tea: Oh...Kuriboh, attack!!  
  
(The Kuriboh jumps out of the arena and runs away)  
  
Tea (shocked): What?  
  
Mai: You must not be a good duelist if a Kuriboh runs away from you. That's pretty pathetic if you ask me.  
  
Tea: Well, my friends will stick by me all the way! Right guys?  
  
Joey (chanting): Who's the girl who's hard to beat?  
  
Bakura and Tristan: Mai! Mai! Mai! Mai!  
  
Joey: Who will deliver Tea's defeat?  
  
Bakura: and Tristan: Mai! Mai! Mai! Mai!  
  
All three: Mai, Mai! She's our gal! She'll defeat our former pal! Gooooooooooooooooooooooo Mai! Yeah!!  
  
Tea: Guys!!!  
  
Mai: You were saying, Tea?  
  
Tea: Uh, (to herself) I wonder if it's too late to believe in the heart-of- the-cards. (draws a card) Cool! I summon Dark Elf in attack mode! Attack, Dark Elf!!  
  
Dark Elf: Not on your life.  
  
(it runs away, too)  
  
Bakura, Tristan and Joey (chanting): Tea's Dark Elf ran away. Mai is gonna win today!  
  
Tea: You're not helping!!  
  
Bakura: Face it Tea, you stink.  
  
Tea: But I...yeah, you're right.  
  
Yugi: AAARRRRRGGGGHHH!!! I'M SICK OF THIS!! (grabs Mai's eight star chips and runs away)  
  
Yugi: Yes! Pegassus, here I come!  
  
Mysterious voice: Nooooo, Yugiiii...You musn't do it this way.  
  
Yugi: Grandpa?  
  
Voice: Stealing star chips won't help you win...  
  
Yugi: Grandpa, may I remind you that you're stuck inside a piece of cardboard that belongs to a guy with a metal eye?  
  
(another long pause)  
  
Grandpa: Well then what are you waiting for?!! Help me!!!!!!!  
  
(Tea starts running towards him in slow motion)  
  
Tea: NOOOOOOOO, YUGIIII, YOU CAAAAAAAAANNNN'T!!  
  
Yugi (looks back while running): (pant pant) I hate it when she does that (pant pant). Hold on Grandpa! I'm coming! (the castle door opens and hits him with a thud)  
  
Pegassus: Ah. Little unconscious Yugi. I've been waiting for you.  
  
THE END 


End file.
